the big 2-0

 Age has been a strange concept to me ever since I skipped third grade.  I've always felt like I was Kennedy's age because we have always done the same things and been at the same stage in life, or at least in my mind.  After I was able to reason with my brain and tell myself that I am indeed not Kennedy's age, I lump myself with my class's age.  But alas, this is also incorrect, so then I have to just accept the fact that I am the age I am and it's no big deal.  Tomorrow is my 20th birthday and that's weird to me.  This past year has been the year that I have had the most changes in the way I see the world and how I view myself in it.  The biggest thing that I have learned in this past year is the battle between faith and fear.  They can not co-exist.  It's so easy for me to hide behind my fear; fear of failure, fear of the future, and fear of the world.  While shooting hoops today, it hit me that this fear that I have is choking my potential.  Kaitlyn gave me the best advice in regards to basket ball.  She said that I needed to do two things: pretend like no one is in my way and keep shooting after I get blocked once or twice.  That girl is the best.

 with Jess in Amman :)  Isn't he handsome?

Boy that is the best, Jesse.  Jesse has taught me so much about what it means to have faith.  Being away from him has been painful this semester.  Being in Jerusalem has been completely life changing.  I am the 1%.  I have no reason to not be happy, confidant, and successful.  I am so grateful for the opportunity that I have had to grow and learn how to overcome fear through faith.

On a side note, here is my birthday gift to you all...finally a few pictures from the trip thus far!

At the pools of bethesda with Allyson and Whitney

in turkey with elyse

Inside Hagia Sofia with my group

sack lunches....

In a water/hampsterwheel on a field trip

Under the center with none other than whitney

candid in turkey

enjoying my first of 2 magnum bars

at the Harem in Turkey

Blessing

I'm so proud of Kennedy and Kyle.  They are so amazing to me.  They are so brave and full of faith.  They are moving up the wedding to April 29th and will be sealed for time and all eternity at 1:40 p.m. in the beautiful Salt Lake Temple.  We are so excited for them and can hardly wait to  celebrate their marriage!  If you would like to learn more about a Latter-day saint wedding and what it means to be sealed please click here.  

And then I found 5 dollars

Today was just a typical day at BYU.
Heard an Apostle of the Lord speak.
Had fantastic classes, including my 3 hour sewing class.
Got tickets for the World of Dance.
Worked on a project for my Residential Landscape Class.
Studied for my religion (Book of Mormon) class.

I should be singing hosannas for how fortunate I am.
But there are the little things throughout the day that make that harder.

I fell down the stairs in the Clyde Building and skinned my knees, shins, and arm.  Not only was that super embarrassing, but it hurt...a lot!
Boys were lame today.
I feel like all of my muscles have turned to fat.
Actually, I am pretty darn sure that they have morphed to fat.
I've been on campus since 9:00 and it is now 10:40.

In my Book of Mormon class, we are talking about Laman and Lemuel.  My Professor, Charles Swift, brought up the point that they generally, do what they are supposed to, but they complain about it and focus on the negative things in their lives.  Nephi on the other hand, writes about how blessed he is the the Lord is keeping them from getting sick because they can only eat raw meat.  I find Nephi's attitude incredible.  Why did he always do what he was commanded, even amidst his family hating on him and trying to kill him?  Why did he always remember to thank the Lord for the tiny little things (things that I wouldn't even categorize as blessings)?  Because he had a testimony of the Lord Jesus Christ and had enormous faith.  I am grateful for his example and will strive to do better.

The more I love my dog...

I've realized how blessed I am.  Every single trial and hardship has blessed my life so much.  Growing up in a house of 7 (and then with 6 roomies) has taught me how to cope with strong/semi-obnoxious personalities, how to share, how to have fun, how to be pleasant, and how to be flexible.  Being on a tight budget has helped me see where my priorities are and not stress over the little things.  Failure has helped me be grateful for the successes and suppression has taught me to embrace freedom.  I pity those that have had pampered lives; without discipline, hardship, work, scrimping and suffering.  They are the ones in "need."